I heard of Nick Drake on the Third Coast podcast. I suppose there’s a time and a place for singer-songwriters. Sometimes they’re okay and sometimes they’re annoying. But I like acoustic guitar that has a pulsing beat, you know? Like this.
“Place to Be” by Nick Drake
I was on my way out to the gym earlier and the sun was shining so brightly, welcoming me outside, saying “Alex! Please let me love you!” So I just had to oblige :P So I went for a run outside of my apartment complex gym for the first time since November. The first half-mile was amazing. I was listening to “The Purple Bottle” by Animal Collective, which is just chaos–perfect for a wild and reckless run. There’s this huge hill down the road though, and by the time I got about halfway up, the song had ended and my ipod was playing a more mellow song and my lungs were burning. And I remembered, for the first time in a while, what it feels like to really run. When you’re really running, you’re pushing yourself farther than you believe your body can take you. It’s a constant war inside your head: I need to stop NOW, I can’t stop, I know I can keep going, but I want to stop, my chest is on FIRE, my body doesn’t want me to, SHUT UP. This goes on for miles until you reach that point of silence. Your mind just turns off and all you feel is the thud thud thud of your shoes making contact with the pavement and you’re breathing in and out but not thinking about anything at all and suddenly five miles have passed and you stop and you’re still flying.
Haha, I didn’t reach that today. I stopped when I got to the top of the hill and I walked around for a little bit to catch my breath. It’s hard. Running is hard. I forget how much strength it took, mentally and physically, to be on the cross country team and actually try. Your body feels so unstable; it’s fighting against you every moment. But I guess you just push through that. I don’t know how I did it back then, but I don’t plan on figuring it out any time soon. That’s so much unnecessary stress for me. I prefer just a nice run in the sun. Sweat a little, get some vitamin D, and go home and eat some chocolate. Sounds like a good day to me.