The Great Phone Catastrophe of 2011

What your eyes now gaze upon is the last remaining piece of my cell phone, the only evidence of what we will forever call The Great Phone Catastrophe of 2011.

Here’s how it happened:

Yesterday, I stood on the corner of Broad and Jackson streets and while I waited for the white man’s permission to cross, I saw my dear friend, Frances. As soon as I could cross, I ran across the street to greet her (I hadn’t seen her in a while). My phone flew out of my purse — flew, practically of its own accord — and landed on the street, which is at a slight incline. The battery separated from the body of the phone, which then slid slowly and fatefully across the street, right down the sewage drain. And that’s it. I stooped to grab the battery in shock while people in the cross walks and on the sidewalk watched, laughing at the misfortune of that girl. God, how embarrassing. I kept wanting to tweet and text my friends about this hilarious and horrible disaster. Oh, the irony.

I stayed up desperately trying to figure out a solution. Being 5,000 miles from home, with one parent deployed, it’s not really an option at all for me not to have a cell phone, but I couldn’t bring myself to tell my mom what had happened. Finally, I crawled into bed, feeling defeated. I sat in the dark in my room, alone, and suddenly realized that there were no working clocks in my room at all. There’s a clock by my TV, off; clock on my roommate’s desk, wrong time; clock on the microwave, constantly reset; watch on my desk, broken; phone, down the sewer.

I have to say, as isolated as I felt for those few hours, it was kind of nice to escape from the confines of time. I know, it sounds so ridiculous when I say it that way. But for reasons far too immature for me to divulge online for everyone to laugh at, I really hate to be awake alone at 3:00 in the morning. And I knew that it was getting close to three by the time I went to sleep, but because I had to clock to race against, I didn’t stress about my insomnia and in fact, I think I got to sleep so much faster than if I would have if I had had my phone with me.

I could have easily freaked out a lot more about this than I did. But I forced myself to remain calm and I’m surprised at how quickly I’m able to laugh at this now. I kept telling myself that maybe this is the Universe’s way of telling me not to get so attached to small things, whether it is my phone, a clock, Twitter, or connections to people who might not have my best interests at heart. Maybe it was a miniature reprimand. Either way, the next morning another friend of mine happened to have the exact same phone that I had before (enV3) just lying around. So I activated it and it’s like I never lost my phone. Except my pictures and contacts are gone. Not important. Another message from the Universe but this time, a reward for keeping my cool.

It all balances out.

Chill.

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